


To Change Who I Used to Be

by CelineRosenfeld



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Background Case, Canon-Typical Violence, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Gavin Reed has cats, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mild Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Multiple, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-09-27 23:48:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17171792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelineRosenfeld/pseuds/CelineRosenfeld
Summary: He remembers fondly how he met Gavin for the first time. He remembers warm, grey, tired, angry eyes and a small sneer that made his LED change to yellow for a brief moment. Remembers his determination walking up to man. He knew he would not be intimidated.His lips are ever so slightly turned up at the ends. He’s sitting next to Gavin in his car and thinks of how wrong he was. Sure, Gavin didn’t intimidate him with his short temper, his insults, or his false arrogance, not one bit. But oh, how easy it was for him to worm his way into Nines’ figurative heart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, and welcome to the new fanfic I'm writing. I'm planing to pull this off in two chapters but this is my first time working on something longer than 1k words and actually posting it. Also my first time writing reed900 but I absolutely love them and had to write a fanfic myself.  
> So, please cheer me on if you like what you read. Kudos and comments are highly apreciated around here.  
> Also big thanks to Tony who is a loyal friend and beta and offered to proof read this even tho he's not even into dbh.  
> This was inspired by The Reason by Hoobastank and the title is also taken from this song.  
> I hope you enjoy it <3  
> (btw maybe tell me if i forgot to tag something)

Nines remembers the day he started to work at the DPD clearly. After being cooped up with Connor and Lieutenant Anderson for months he was yearning for anything resembling something different. Connor was hesitant, wrapping him in wool, letting him get to know what being alive meant bit by bit. Taking long walks around and in the city was met with doubts from both of them, but in the end they gave in after he refused to talk with them for two days. Nines grew frustrated but quickly learned to hide this; he was not made for this. While he appreciated that they cared, he did not like the patronizing part of it. Even Hank was not sure about letting him out into the world. Letting him work with the police. Especially after the two had found out, not that they were allowed to know, who his assigned partner was. He remembers fondly how he met Gavin for the first time. He remembers warm, grey, tired, angry eyes and a small sneer that made his LED change to yellow for a brief moment. Remembers his determination walking up to man. He knew he would not be intimidated.

His lips are ever so slightly turned up at the ends. He’s sitting next to Gavin in his car and thinks of how wrong he was. Sure, Gavin didn’t intimidate him with his short temper, his insults, or his false arrogance, not one bit. But oh, how easy it was for him to worm his way into Nines’ figurative heart. At times it really seemed like that. Gavin pushing his buttons, corrupting his work ethic, making him feel. He did not get it at first and was frustrated, defensive even, towards Connor when he checked on him. Maybe they had a point when they warned him the life, and _being alive_ , feeling, was no easy task.

It all piled up in the end and he decided to move out, to get some space. Staying with Connor and Hank he felt like a burden to them, like an intruder, although aware that they never meant to make him feel like one. But he did, that is the thing about feelings, they do not make sense.

Now he has his own flat in a renovated complex near the station. That is where they are driving to go over the case files. They left the precinct at Nines’ request, of course it was just a ploy. The building was full of people and he detected the sleep deprivation the detective is spotting often, and the accompanying headache only got worse over the day. He smiles because he has learned that he enjoys spending time with Gavin, enjoys the teasing and the insults because he could see past them. With time Gavin opened up, little by little. Offered that they could work at his place as well, after he made fun of how clean and neat Nines’ flat was. Nines bonded with Gavin’s cats, and when Gavin saw, he blushed. Sometimes Nines replays that memory. He treated him softer that day and must have given him some bonus points to get on Gavin’s good side, not that many people were patient enough to get there.

Once inside the flat, they get to work. Spreading out files on the floor. Gavin has his laptop in his lap. Though he does not say anything about it, Nines knows that his back will hurt later. He notices that Gavin’s attention slips up more as the light filtering in through the window fades. And his own does, too. Unprofessional as he has been these last few weeks, he is stealing some glances of his partner. Looking at Gavin and appreciating how he looks in his space, at how he pushes his hair back on his head and squints a little to read. Nines is aware that he is getting distracted, not that he wants to stop what he is doing.

Gavin’s stomach grumbles and Nines looks up to see that he is embarrassed.

“Do you have any food left?” he asks but avoids eye contact, “Y’know from the last time I was here?”

“There are still three slices of the pizza from two days ago, which you could heat up”, he suggests and watches as he gets it out of the fridge and arranges the slices on a plate so that they will fit into the microwave. He sticks his tongue out in concentration. Nines thinks it is cute and notices the system instability alert in the right upper corner of his vision. He promptly ignores it. He stands up himself and goes over to the refrigerator to take out a bag of thirium. He looks over at Gavin, sees how close they are standing to each other, scans him to support his guess that the detective is dehydrated. He gets two glasses from the cupboard and fills one with water, the other with thirium. He puts the bag away again and places the water glass in front of Gavin who raises his brows at him and sighs; but he doesn’t argue about it anymore, just mumbles a ‘thank you’. He even blushes a bit and Nines turns away, thirium being directed to his cheeks and another system instability notification in his visual field. It is not that unusual lately.

They both finish their meals in relative quiet. You could not even call it an awkward silence because Gavin’s vital signs show him that he is in fact comfortable right now. Working with Nines and something warm filling him up. He contemplates that thought and his LED circles to yellow.

“What’s up with you?” Gavin inquires pointing at his own temple.

“Nothing, Connor just messaged me, asking how our work is coming along,” he lies smoothly and without missing a beat, “we should get back to it.”

And they do get back to it. It is close to midnight when Gavin leaves for the night and heads home. They are still looking for a lead without success, he can tell it is getting to Gavin, even though he will not admit it. And Nines, as always, the calm counterpart. Telling his partner to go and get some much needed sleep, that they can still work on it tomorrow, that he does not have to worry.

 

* * *

 

He gets greeted when he enters his apartment by two of his four cats. Chris and Kate are meowing at him, clearly voicing their discontent at him returning this late. He undresses and makes his way to the kitchen. While doing the dishes he has left to pile up for the last few days, the cats roam around the space. Even his maine coon comes out from probably his bedroom to see what’s happening. He can see her white and orange fur out of the corner of his eye. Susie sniffs him and then rubs herself on his legs, purring happily at the minimal physical contact. Gavin smiles down at her. He’s in good spirits after today and it’s a little weird but that’s ok. They got a lot of work done today, after all.

He checks the time again and decides to actually try and get some sleep. So he gets ready for bed, brushing his teeth, changing his clothes, going to the toilet again.

He’s careful when climbing on his bed as not to disturb Dave, his gray Mau. Susie jumps up as well and curls up near his belly. Her purring comforts him. After a while he turns, he feels restless. The lights of the city filtering in through the curtains, the sounds of people on their way home and a train swooshing nearby seem too loud. Thoughts of blue filtering into his tired brain. Icy eyes and thirium in a mug, traces of it on a pair of lips. He shuts his eyes tighter and pulls up his blanket. He groans in annoyance at himself for even thinking about _him_. His dick apparently disagrees, and he can feel himself getting harder, not managing to push images of Nines’ fucking hands out of his mind. He thinks ‘fuck it’ and pushes his hand into his boxers. He’s already chased away the cats with his tossing and turning. Maybe this isn't even such a bad idea, some part of his brain musters, probably his libido. He moans quietly jacking himself, conjuring picture after picture, of broad shoulders, strong hands, piercing cold eyes that catch him staring. He remembers Nines shoving a perp roughly into the hard asphalt under them. How he couldn’t turn his eyes away from the sight and thinking even then that it was hot. Burning up when Nines looked at him and stared right back and blaming the exertion instead. He comes at that thought, that even then he liked Nines.

Fuck. This is fucked up. Nines is his colleague, maybe a friend if Gavin is lucky and hopeful about it. He feels worse now, still tense. Gavin makes a quick trip to the bathroom. He doesn’t dare look into the mirror, not that there’s anything he wants to see. At least he gets himself cleaned up and drinks some water. While he was away Susie can back to the bedroom, already curled up on the pillow he had attempted to sleep on before, soaking up the warmth. He envies her a little. Back in bed he takes his phone from his night stand. Three in the morning, it informs him. The lock screen picture of his cats pulls a small smile from somewhere inside him. It was a struggle to get them all to sit still, Tina helped. He unlocks it and opens the chat with Nines on his messaging app, he’s not quite sure why. But hey, nobody said he’s a bright light to begin with. So he texts him.

_Hey,, you still awake?_

He waits for a minute or so.

Nothing.

He exists the chat to look at some dumb videos on YouTube. He feels a little pathetic, but that’s okay.

**As I have explained to you before, I don’t sleep.**

**So, in that sense yes, I am awake, Detective.**

His heart starts beating harder and blood is flowing to his cheeks. This is absolutely ridiculous. He can practically hear Nines’ voice, cold and a little stuck-up.

**Why are you asking? Did anything come up?**

Like a deer caught in headlights, he just stares at his phone, willing his brain to come up with something clever.

_Nah, not really, just wanted to talk to you._

He groans, Nines probably already thinks that he’s a total dumbass. This is only proving it.

**What about?**

Gavin is surprised at the uncharacteristically short answer. But he takes the chance.

        _I don’t know really_

He replies helplessly. Why is he doing this again?

_Susie is sleeping in my bed and has one of my pillows as her prisoner_

Yes, very clever, talking about his cats is a safe topic.

_She’s one of my cats_

He adds to avoid any confusion. Not that there is any.

**I’m aware. The Maine coon.**

Nines already knows Susie of course, and doesn’t _forget anything._

_Yes_

**Will you send me a picture of her?**

He questions the request for a moment, turns it over in his tired head. Sending a picture of his cat to a work colleague is fine. He sits up and switches on the light over his headboard, scooting back on the bed so that he can get a good shot. Susie looks extra peaceful. He sends it and waits again.

        **Thank you.**

_Want to see the other ones as well?_

He doesn’t think about it, really, before he hits send. Just the same as when he talks.

**You should go to bed, Detective.**

Stupid, stupid, he tells himself. Why would he want to see Gavin’s cats. He lies down again after turning off the light and slips under the blanket. And why is he doing what Nines tells him?

        _Yeah youre right. Goodnight_

His face is lit up by the cold light from his phone in the dark room. The streetlamps still on like they are all throughout the night, and the trains never stopping.

**You’re***

**Goodnight Detective.**

_Goodnight. And it’s Gavin, tincan_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He simply knows by now that Gavin is a sucker for his cats.  
> What he doesn’t know is that Gavin is also a sucker for seeing Nines interact with his cats, whether it be cautiously petting them at first or later sitting on his couch with one of them on his lap, purring loudly while Nines never once stops the repetitive pets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished this with the help of me last 2 brain cells and my loyal beta (thanks again)  
> I've already started writing the next chapter but I'm not sure how long it will take me but I am determined to finish this fic.  
> Some links I used for this chapter:  
> http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/why-do-people-stare-2383.html  
> https://sionfaileas.tumblr.com/post/181591774468/gavins-hair-is-wavy-its-only-the-longer-bits/amp?__twitter_impression=true
> 
> and with all credits given, I hope you enjoy this and leave kudos and comments in whichever way you want.  
> (btw maybe tell me if i forgot to tag something)

They try working in the bullpen, they really do. But Gavin is already nursing a slight headache again and the 5 coffees he’s had so far don’t seem to do their job. Nines has been giving him concerned looks for the past two hours or so. He feels close to snapping at someone, and he hopes it won’t be Nines. Or Tina, or Connor for that part. He’s trying to be better. It’s hard, though, when he only knows how to express himself through angry insults and snarky remarks spat at nearly everyone in his approximate vicinity. But he’s trying, and he’s made some progress. It’s easier when he’s alone with someone, he noticed. Crowds set him on edge. Nines and Tina help too. They know his triggers and when he’s just short of boiling over with repressed emotion; sometimes better than himself. He feels like he could just lay in bed all day with his cats.

Nines is interfacing with the station’s computer across from him. His fake skin receded and white plastic is showing instead. Gavin takes another big sip of his coffee, maybe it will help. His mind remembers last night and wonders what those fingers would feel like. Something stirs inside him and he chokes on his coffee. Nine looks up at him, no emotion showing on his face, but eyes slightly widened. Gavin gets himself back under control shortly after he managed to direct every eye in the room at him. He can feel blood rushing to his head and his ears get all hot.

“Are you alright detective?”, Nines asks sounding curious.

Gavin just nods and doesn’t meet his eyes, which feel like they’re burning through him.

Nines processes that, the LED on his temple spinning yellow for a few circles.

“I suggest we go to your place and continue working there, as this is not a productive environment.”

Gavin is really glad that he doesn’t have any coffee filling his mouth now. It would only end up in his windpipe anyway.

“Nah, don’t worry it’s alright,” he says and knows when the words left his mouth that Nines won’t believe a single one of it. That android is seriously stubborn, all behind the mask of being efficient and professional, of course.

“I have already informed Captain Fowler that we are leaving.”

“What did you do that for?” Gavin shouts out and gapes at him. People are giving him looks for being so loud. He’s used to it.

“The office is exactly 12 decibels too loud at this moment, you have only watched 2 of the security feeds we have to look through, we still have not found a lead as to who or where a suspect for this case could be,” Nines explains then without taking a breath, not that he would need it.

“And, no offense, you currently have another headache.”

Gavin snorts at this, he knew he wouldn’t have a chance, once Nines mind is set on something, there’s nearly nothing to bring him off his planned path.

“In addition to that, I would be glad to see your cats again,” the android adds a bit more quietly, almost shily if Gavin didn’t know any better. Somehow this is what does the trick in the end, as if Nines carefully assessed the situation and calculated his chances. He simply knows by now that Gavin is a sucker for his cats. What he doesn’t know is that Gavin is also a sucker for seeing Nines interact with his cats, whether it be cautiously petting them at first or later sitting on his couch with one of them on his lap, purring loudly while Nines never once stops the repetitive pets.

Gavin is quite nervous around Nines today after last night, even though he doesn’t want to admit it to himself; maybe being alone with the subject of his new little crush isn’t a smart idea. He can’t help himself. He doesn’t trust his voice either, so he just gives a small nod, but Nines catches it and logs out of the computer. Gavin packs his things which are just his coffee mug, a simple paper notebook, and the tablet lying on his desk with all the case files on it. Of course his partner already got the clearance for them to take it out of the precinct.

When he gets up and stands at Nines’ desk, expecting the droid to follow behind him, ihe finds him staring at the now vacant space at the desk across. This kind of a new, though frustrating, “tic” - Nines being distracted, not in the moment and not ahead of it, but stuck just a few seconds in the past. Gavin wonders what’s causing that. He rasps his knuckles on the table to catch his attention again, let him focus.

Nines is staring up at him, still sitting at his desk all stiff and proper. Those ice blue eyes that haunt his dreams in the best ways are openly staring up at him. His lips are slightly parted when Gavin takes a quick look at them before looking away again. His breath catches in his throat and he’s blushing again in embarrassment. Nines slightly tilts his head in question.

“Wanna get out of here?”, he asks and is glad that he didn’t stumble over any words. In fact, he doesn’t wait for an answer and just heads for the door, anything to get out of the building and the situation.

The 15-minute car ride over to his apartment is filled with music instead of conversation, he’s quite sure that he couldn’t handle that right now. They don’t talk in the elevator or on the short walk down the hallway to his apartment.

“Make yourself comfortable in the living room,” is all he mutters after they’re inside.

He goes to the kitchen first, hears how Nines stops in the doorway before he goes on and walks in the other direction. Gavin tries to pay it no mind. Gets some cat milk from the fridge and pours it in two clean bowls he gets from under the sink, they’ll just have to share. He makes a coffee for himself and notices Kate sitting on the window sill, her orange fur soaking up the sun. He goes over to her and puts his hand on her head. She leans into the touch a little, gives a small purr at the contact. He pets her while his coffee is brewing. The ding of the machine makes him end the rather short petting session, but he leaves already more relaxed. When he enters the living room, Nines is already comfy on the couch with Chris on his lap and Susie sprawled out at his side, using both his hands to please them both. Gavin is just might be a little jealous. It will be a struggle to get all the fur off of his dark green turtleneck later, but he never complains about it. If Gavin wasn’t so much of an anti-romantic, he’d say that the feeling somewhere under his ribs is butterflies dancing at that sight. As it is, he just stands in the doorway and stares. Nines catches it again but at this point he doesn’t even avert his eyes, and Nines doesn’t either.

“We should get to work,” he says, and Gavin’s face feels hot again and he’s thankful that Nines breaks the moment.

Gavin takes the place at the other end of the couch and puts his coffee down on the low table in front of it. Nines hands him the station tablet and they quietly do their job.

__________

 

He can feel Gavin staring at him every now and then, although he is supposed to be looking at the surveillance feeds, and every time he meets his eyes, his heart rate increases and the human blushes. Nines is puzzled, maybe he should ask Connor, no bad idea, he should figure this out himself. Gavin didn’t act like this yesterday. So what changed?

He’s not sure. Was it the texting last night? He opens up the chat in the upper left corner of his HUD and looks at it, after all Gavin is on his phone frequently while at work, this is fine. Was it because he asked for a picture of Susie, did he overstep a boundary? He looks down at the cat on his legs, at his hand in her soft fur. No, it cannot be that, if Gavin allows him to be this close to his cats, a simple picture cannot be the problem. What else? Was it because he chose Gavin’s home to continue their work for the day, thus inviting himself? Unlikely, they have done this before after all. Gavin’s behavior does not make sense, which is not uncommon per se, but it differs from what he is used to from the human.

What he is used to is grumpy insults that his partner does not mean, frustrated shouts from his short temper fuelled by a long week on top of it. Blessed calm afterwards, maybe an apology presenting itself in the form of an invitation to be his guest, to play with his cats. Gavin likes when he plays with his cats. Then why is he staring at him? When all hope seems lost, Google is your friend. He closes the chat box and instead opens a tab searching for reasons why people stare. He finds a questionable article that lists them. The first one already sets his LED spinning yellow

Staring might be the result of admiration. It is quite possible that the person staring at you admires you for some reason or the other.

Could that be? He reads on. Wanting to initiate conversation is next, then insecurity.

It is also possible that people who are staring at you are simply amazed by your attractiveness; you are so pretty or handsome that they just cannot get their eyes off you.

He feels thirium being directed to his face and hastily shuts down the program which started without his command. He closes the tab and takes a breath he does not need.

Then he dares to, just out of the corner of his eye, take a look at Gavin. Who in turn is looking at him, staring at him, caught in the act. Nines holds his gaze, still confused about what he found and what it all means. Gavin’s eyes leave his for a millisecond to look at his lips and then back up again. The human is blushing again, the color making the big scar on his face and all the little other ones stand out. It is a beautiful sight, Nines wants to see it more often. **_System Instability ∆_** , he gets the notification on his HUD and dismisses it.

They are work colleagues, why would Gavin want him in that way. He should concentrate on work, not get stuck in an endless circle of ridiculous thoughts that lead nowhere, is what he tells himself and proceeds to do.

It’s dark again and Gavin has been growing more and more tired after he had what he considers “dinner:” a bowl of cheap ramen noodles. Nines does not understand humans or why they constantly do not seem to take care of themselves properly. Connor and he already discussed this a couple of times, since the lieutenant seems to display similar behavior.

He is left utterly confused by the end of the night as he goes to his apartment. At least they found a lead to follow up on the next day. A guy who fits as a suspect and suspiciously seems to have been at most of the supposed crimes scenes. Nines scanned his face on the recording earlier, and found his name and place of work, which they will check out tomorrow. He has to admit to himself that it will be a relief to close the case. It just did not sit right with him that someone was kidnapping androids from the streets, the bodies of which turning up again a few days later in deserted alleys and dumpsters, hastily gotten rid of. And that is after they have been poked at, some of their parts even missing. A shiver runs through his wires at the thought.

He is replaying parts of today in his mind, musing over them, analyzing, searching for clues, looking at Gavin, looking at - concentrate. There is something Gavin is not telling him, and he is going to find out.

 

Which turns out to be a more difficult mission objective when Gavin does not talk to him. Quiet and grumpy and only answering him in low energy ‘hmm’-sounds. He looks tired, a little more so than usual, and it makes Nines sad, which is surprising. Being bothered by his partner’s poor health is okay and normal since it influences his work efficiency. Maybe he really should seek some advice from Connor, but that would mean admitting defeat in the task of learning social cues on his own he has set for himself.

They enter the repair shop for androids together - as a team - and he knows which role he has to play. Gavin as the good cop, their colleagues would laugh at the idea, and Nines with his ‘resting-bitch-face’ the counter part. Being intimidating without even meaning to - it is a gift in his line of work but a curse in day to day life. He stays quiet as Gavin explains to the owner what they are here for, while Nines scans the front room. He notices the movement in the other rooms where the actual work is done, notices that the owner’s heart rate jumps up a little every time Nines gaze passes over them while they relax at Gavin’s diplomatic words. They just want to talk to one of their employees after all. They work perfectly, although Nines does not allow himself a proud smile. As it turns out, their suspect is actually there, probably not even expecting them.

Everything goes according to plan, and maybe Nines should not have been so self-assured about the case and the closure of it, he was hopeful, has dared to dream. He rolls his eyes as he hears the beginning of the owner’s shout, informing their suspect that ‘two gentlemen would like to talk to him’. He sees the guy’s eyes go wide for a second and starts his preconstruction software as time slows down a bit. The guy is going to run for the door that leads to the stairs. Nines downloads the plans for the building, he is going to be trapped in the staircase either way, there is no way out now. Their chance of catching him is still at ninety-one percent. He is already asking for backup for after they have made their arrest. What’s more concerning is the gun he is pulling out from under his work desk. Nines does not have enough information, does not know their suspect well enough to determine the best approach, all he knows is that he wants Gavin and him to be safe, Gavin has to take care of his cats after all.

He calls out to his partner, warning him. He runs after the perp, pulls out his own gun and registers Gavin following behind him. Nines is in the staircase now, has to focus, takes two steps at once, use the rails in order to be faster. He preconstructs the moves he will use to disarm the guy and get rid of the threat the gun poses. The probability of success is still at eighty-five percent as Nines speeds up the stairs to the fifth floor.

The guy stops which is … weird. Nines looks up at him only one and a half sets of staircases between them. They lock eyes, the guy points his gun just as fast as Nines does and they both pull the trigger. His lips twist into a smile as he sees the suspect get down. He shot him in the leg to ensure he would not get up again to do something stupid. A _Mission Successful_ notification pops up on his HUD, right next to it a shutdown countdown opens itself. Nines looks down at himself, registers the growing dark blue stain on his black and white striped turtleneck. He slumps against the wall and carefully slides down into a sitting position. His thirium pump is already beating out of sync, now that the regulator is broken. At least the guy knew what he was doing. The android laughs and it sounds a bit static-y with his vocal modulator not getting enough thirium. He is already uploading his memory to a cloud. The seconds tick by and Gavin appears at his side, kneeling down and eyebrows raised up in shock, he looks funny.

“Careful Detective, he still has the gun.”

“Fuck that Nines, you’re shot!” Gavin chokes out the words, getting his hands on him. One pushes back the hair from his forehead before resting on his shoulder, searching his face. The other hand pulls up his clothes and inspects the entry wound. The skin around it is faded away and his chassis is tinted blue. So are Gavin’s fingers now.

“No worries, this can be fixed,” Nines tells him and lies a little.

Gavin is crouching over his body, clutching his shirt, shaking.

“You should see the other guy,” Nines tries to joke but it wrings a sob from Gavin. Nines frowns.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” He returns the question, “you got shot and are going to shut down! And I got no idea when you’ll be okay again or if you are even going to be okay! And don’t even lie to me you big fucking idiot!”

**_SYSTEM ISTABILITY∆_ **

Nines stares at him and the countdown counts down, steady opposed to his out-of-control pump.

“Gavin,” he says softly, and watery eyes meet his.

“How long?” the human whispers out.

“Eighteen seconds,” he answers truthfully.

The hand that was on his shoulder comes up to cup his cheek. Nines spends his last few conscious second watching Gavin kiss his forehead and lets a sad smile form on his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He dreads seeing Nines limp body, without any life in it.  
> But he has to know. Has to ask when his partner will be back by his side, how long it will take them to fix him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, finally getting this out, this time one proof read by little old me which might take away some of it's quality but here you go after that last cliff hanger.  
> The link I used for research: https://www.houseplant411.com/houseplant/alocasia-plant-how-to-grow-care-guide-elephant-ear-plant-african-mask-plant  
> Tell me if you notice any mistakes.  
> Kudos and comments are as always highly apreciated so please leave me some.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter.

They have to pry him off of Nines’ body, he doesn’t even know who it is that drags him out of the building. There’s an ambulance for the android with a technician to check over him. He tries to wipe away the tear tracks on his cheeks, probably only getting thirium on his face in return. Whoever carried him out on the streets left him afterward, so he walks over. He dreads seeing Nines limp body, without any life in it. But he has to know. Has to ask when his partner will be back by his side, how long it will take them to fix him up.  
Gavin feels numb as he listens to the android doctor explaining in detail what parts of Nines got fucked up when he caught a bullet in his stomach. His eyes are fixed on the unsettling form that held Nines’ mind about half an hour ago. Gavin feels cold at thought of going home alone, leaving Nines in such a state.  
“Detective Reed”, they say, “are you listening to what I’m saying?”  
He tears his eyes from Nines body and his ripped open middle, god that idiot will be sad that his stupid new turtleneck is ruined.  
“I - uhm, yeah”, he murmurs and doesn’t trust his voice, “I’m listening.”  
“Good, because what I’m trying to say is”, they pause and Gavin raises his eyebrows, “we can’t fix him.”  
“What?”, he says and hates the way he sounds shrill, “You have to! That’s your job isn’t it?”  
They shrink at his words and lift up their hands to calm him down. Not like that would actually work.  
“There’s really nothing I can do.”  
“Noth-Nothing you can do?!” Gavin takes a step towards the technician. He knows that people must be watching the interaction, but he feels every right to be this furious. Nines deserve to be taken care of, Nines deserves to be fixed and ready to go again, ready to sit on Gavin’s couch and play with his cats. Deserves to hear their purrs and feel the vibrations of it with his fingers.  
“The RK-line is unique and the RK900 even more, we just don’t have the right parts and materials for this”, they explain matter of factly as if that makes it any better and acceptable. Fuck this.  
“You have to fix him!”, he yells again and his throat hurts. His head feels too hot and his eyes burn.  
“I’m telling you I can’t!”, they insist shouting back at him but it only makes his building headache grow, “We will take his body to a repair center and store it there until we have all the right parts.”  
“Store him? W-what, you’re just gonna store him like some old computer that some coke was spilled on?”  
This can’t be real. At this point, it doesn’t even feel real anymore.  
“Th-that’s just how we proceed with these kinds of things!”  
“He’s not a thing!” He slams his fist against the side of the ambulance truck, leaving a blue print on the red and white varnish.  
A hand lands on his shoulder and turns him away from the technician he terrorized not three seconds ago. A voice that sounds too soft to truly calm him down trying to get through to him. Gavin looks up at brown eyes and feels his own eyes sting by how wrong this face seems. The same but not the one he longs for.  
“We are going to figure something out”, Connor says, and Gavin just slumps against the android. He’s lost all fight now and doesn’t give a fuck that Connor is confused, hands at both of Gavin’s shoulder so that he doesn’t fall on the concrete. The place is still buzzing around them and Gavin feels a little hopeless.

Connor takes him back to the police station. The first thing he does is send him to the bathroom. Not a bad idea. The thirium in his hands might fade in time but he knows that Connor can still the remaining traces. He makes sure not to look into the mirrors. Just washes his hands with lots of soap and hot water till his skin turns red. He makes sure to wash his face too and dries himself off with cheap and coarse paper towels. Back in the bullpen, Connor sits him down at his desk and then leaves him to stare into the air in front of him. When the android returns, he presses a cup of hot coffee into his hands. He takes a sip and notes that it’s just the way he likes it. He takes a shaky breath that shudders out of his lungs loudly. This feels so fucking wrong.  
He tries to not pay Connor any mind as he sits perched on his desk like he usually only does with Anderson, it pisses him off sure but that’s just another thing that makes him hate the world more and more today. Damn idiot is probably waiting for him to talk, to vent. His LED is constantly on yellow and Gavin hates the color. His brown eyes look worried and he gives off the ‘I’m here to help’-vibe. Try-hard. He’s not that different from Nines – something pulls inside Gavin and he clenches his teeth against the pain – in that aspect. But then again, he is. Connor doesn’t know how to handle him, or he does but refuses to do anything that doesn’t fit into the well-behaved and friendly mold he’s attempting to squeeze himself into. Fuck this.  
He sees Anderson walk through the doors and his mood sours even more, he didn’t think it was possible. Connor must’ve called him. He walks up to the lieutenant and talks to the older man too quiet for Gavin to hear. He stays at his desk, pretends to ignore everyone else. Not even sure why he’s here, he just tagged along behind Connor. Maybe he should write a report about what happened. No fucking way he’s doing that. Then they walk up to him and Hank with his tall and broad frame towers over him. Gavin looks up at him and stares right back at him as he gets scrutinized. He’s not sure what Hank was looking for, but he listens as the man talks: “We’ve got an idea on how to get Nines up and talking again, you’re not gonna like it.”  
“Shoot.” Gavin doesn’t give a fuck at this point.  
“Connor and I know a guy who could fix up your boyfriend,”  
“He’s not my boyfr-”, he tries to interrupt, and his face gets all hot again.  
But the asshole just rolls his eyes and cuts his protest off.  
“, but the guy ‘s a creep.”  
Connor still looks concerned and like he wants to say something but doesn’t dare to break the tension going on right now.  
”His name, Anderson, what’s the guy’s name, huh?”  
“Kamski, y’know founder of CyberLife.”  
Gavin averts his eyes from the other two. His breathing is becoming fucked up again and he feels a small panic rise in him. Why didn’t he think of that himself? Stupid. Hank is saying something, but the words sound blurry. He shuts his eyes tightly and breathes. In, out. Just in and out like Nines sometimes tells him to do. He feels that ache inside him again.  
“-not sure if he’s gonna help but it’s worth a try”, he hears Anderson explain and Gavin shakes his head.  
“He’s going to, he owes me.”

The three of them take Anderson’s car, Connor riding shotgun and Gavin in the back. He leans against the side of the window and just looks outside, gets lost in the always blurry always moving landscape as they drive. He tunes out their voices and tries to tune out his own thoughts. Sometimes when he looks at Connor through the rear-view mirror, he sees Nines again, limp and drained under him, and feels like he can’t breathe. So he looks outside instead.  
“Hey Gavin”, Hank says and looks through the mirror and waits for him to react. He turns his head and the movement feels slow.  
“How come you’re so sure that Kamski is going to help us?”  
Good question, really. He hasn’t seen his half-brother in over a year. But that was what Elijah wanted all along, wasn’t it? To be left alone by everyone to work in quiet. Who knows what he gets up to in that big mansion. Gavin never really asked, always felt too fucking stupid compared to his bigger, better, brighter brother. God, Nines was right, he really had an inferiority complex. At least he’s aware of it, Gavin tells himself. Acknowledging a problem is the fort step to solving it and all that bullshit.  
“The shithead owes me as I said.”  
Hank arches up one of his brows.  
“Just trust me with this”, he tries but Hank looks like he doesn’t really want to do that. Gavin sighs and slumps back against the window, his head hitting the glass with a dull thump. Elijah is going to help them, he’s sure about it alright. He still owes Gavin for that knife he took to his face decorating him with the scar that rests now upon it. After all Elijah did to him, leaving without a word after months of planning it, he still never regrets to have saved his brother in a fight gone too far with some bullies back in high school. If not for this, Gavin is certain that he won’t say no to the chance to get all up close to an oh so special RK900 model. Douche’s a creep like Hank said. He shudders at the thought and feels sick.

Gavin gets out first while Hank is still turning off the old car. He looks out at lake St. Clair and somehow nature star back, asks what the fuck he is doing here. The mansion looms before him and the pristine white mocks him. He’s doing this for Nines he tells himself, it’s the least he can do. Nines deserves it.  
Connor and Hank catch up to him in the time it takes for Chloe to answer the door after he rings it aggressively. She looks surprised and her LED spins yellow, he bites the inside of his mouth. He guesses she’s a deviant now too. No idea why she stays around Elijah, none of his business anyway.  
“Is my brother home?”, he asks and stands his ground. She doesn’t even look at Gavin but instead at the man and the android behind him. Her LED doesn’t turn back to blue. Maybe she’s even wirelessly communicating with Connor. Hank coughs and breaks the awkward silence. Gavin is a tiny bit thankful.  
“He is, please wait in the foyer while I’ll get him if you don’t mind”, she answers him and gives Gavin that pretty smile all the RT600s and ST200s are programmed with.  
Inside Gavin lets himself fall gracelessly into one of the chairs and hates how comfortable it is.  
“This place hasn’t changed at all since last time”, Hank says to no one in particular really, but Connor answers him.  
“The red Alocasia Amazonica on detective Reed’s left is new”, he notes.  
Gavin turns in his chair to look at the big plant standing up it would probably go to his shoulders. He reaches out his arm to test out how the leaves would feel on his fingers when Connor speaks up again.  
“It’s also rather poisonous, so I suggest that you better not do that detective.”  
Gavin rolls his eyes, of course, his brother would put a dangerous plant in his front room. He doesn’t even spare a glance at the oversized painting of Elijah of the framed picture of him and Amanda Stern he knows are decorating the room.  
“So”, Anderson says and lets the word hang in the air for a few moments till Gavin looks up at him, “brothers?”  
“Half-brothers, nobody expects that, am I right?”  
Hank looks at the painting, looks at him, looks at Elijah all tall and perfect, looks back at Gavin trying to recede in his chair.  
“I guess I can see the similarities”, he shrugs. Gavin wants to disappear. He never liked talking about family. Tina is probably the only person that knows he even has a brother, but that’s only because he’s known her for a long ass time, because he needs to vent, and because he trusts her.  
“I’ve known”, Connor pipes up and Gavin thinks about getting angry, “Nines noticed of course.”  
And he is reminded that he doesn’t even have enough energy to be angry at the moment. But it’s still all shimmering beneath his exhaustion, ready to boil up again with some time and the right reason. His brother might be exactly that.  
Elijah lets them wait for another ten minutes and by now Connor is wondering out loud what is taking him so long, telling them the possibilities and each of their probabilities. Instead of everything Connor could think of they hear Elijah and Chloe argue as the come closer through a hallway on the right.  
“Well, well, well, look who decided to show up”, his brother greets them like some comic book villain, a living and breathing drama queen. Standing behind him Chloe seems pissed and Gavin likes the look of it.  
“I didn’t come here to argue ‘Lijah”, he says kind of bored as he gets up and walks over to him. Elijah crosses his arms and looks down on him as much as he can. Shit, Gavin should put more effort into this, he’s here for Nines, this is not about his familial issues, this is about Nines.  
“Yeah, Chloe told me already, you’re here because of your little boyfriend”, he says with an air of arrogance. Gavin knows that he’s only trying to sound mean, but the tone of voice still has its’ effect. It’s put distance between them. It’s hard to ignore the comment but he manages for Nines’ sake.  
“Will you help him?”, he asks perhaps a bit blunt, but he thinks he can get away without the pleasantries.  
“Why did you even bring Connor and the lieutenant with you for this”, his brother sighs and ignores his question. Of course, he isn’t going to get a straight yes or no out of Elijah.  
“Doesn’t matter, will you fix him?”, Gavin’s patience is thinning.  
“Why?”  
Gavin may piss him off by not entertaining him but oh he’s not going to match Chloe who’s been holding back and apparently can’t keep a poker face. She looks like a storm that’s brewing up and you watch from behind a window and hope, you hope that it’s not coming your way.  
“I think you should help them Elijah”, she joins the conversation. She has put a frail hand on his brother’s shoulder and slightly turned her head up to him. Her voice soothing and her smile sweet.  
Gavin is a bit surprised by this tactic because that’s what it is. Connor’s eyes are on her knowingly. Elijah freezes and for a second, he’s close to losing his façade. He knows it’s just a sham and it throws him off.  
“You can’t keep doing this Gavin.” He’s quieter now, deflated.  
Hank gets the social cue and avoids looking at them directly, Chloe and Connor on the other hand ...  
God help him if Elijah gets all emotional while they have an audience.  
“I need your help ‘Lijah. Fuck. He needs your help”, he grits out.  
“Gavin …”, he says and looks down on him like he’s going to tell him that Gavin fucked up but wants to do it without hurting him because he’s the older brother and Gavin is his baby brother after all. He hates it. He doesn’t have time for this. He doesn’t need this. He balls his fists.  
“What?”, he shouts, and Elijah just stands.  
“What do you want from me, huh? What the fuck can I do so that you will help? Tell me! What do you need me to do for you so that you fucking fix the only person I care about!”  
His face is so damn hot now and breathing is hard, he’s panting. All eyes are on him now. Elijah’s eyes are open wide, and he looks like he’s just been slapped.  
Gavin feels sorry and wants to take it back, but he can’t, and he won’t because it’s true enough. His throat is dry and his own eyes exhausted.  
“And you’ll do anything?”, comes the question after an elaborate pause. Gavin just nods. He’s been through far too much physical exercise today, whether it be running or shouting at his brother, he’s exhausted. He lets himself fall into the chair again and just breathes. Elijah walks over to him and kneels down. He’s close enough that Anderson might not hear what he has to say. Good.  
“I’ll do it”, he tells Gavin who waits for the catch, ”all I ask for in return is that you visit me from time to time, Chloe and I have picked up cooking together.”  
Gavin’s tired brain doesn’t trust the ears attached to his head, but he can’t have that heard wrong. He laughs. This must be some weird alternate dimension, a fake version of his brother. It seems too easy. He doesn’t know what the fuck is wrong with his brother. His brother who abandoned him and left him to rot in a household with two abusive parents. At least it’s something he can actually do. He laughs and then he cries. He’s ashamed by that sound of it and buries his face in his hands, folds and rests his upper body on his lap.  
“Yeah, alright”, he chokes out.  
They just leave him be then, probably shocked by his reaction. At one point, Chloe hands him a glass of water and he drinks half of it. He thinks that he can hear them talking, especially Elijah and Connor. Let them take care of how and where Elijah will bring Nines back from the dead. As long as he does it soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back,  
> I know this chaper is rather short but it's better than nothing.  
> Hopefully the fresh start with chapter 5 will give me some artistic energy.  
> Beta read by the cool dude Tony  
> as always leave some kudos and comments  
> but most importantly: enjoy <3

‘This … is unusual’, is Nines first thought coming back to consciousness. Which is also unusual. He checks his memories. His remembers Gavin, their case, the chase, his pump regulator shattered, blue, so much of his own blood, Gavin, a countdown, lips on his forehead. Darkness. It still is dark; his senses are only coming back to him one by one. Unusual and unexpected, to be alive again. He feels thankful, somehow, but also sceptical. He does not know where he is or if all his components are functional. He does not have a Wi-Fi connection either, but that can wait for a moment, he feels sort of blind without it. His optical units are not working either. So far, his ears are only picking up silence and the soft hum of technological devices all around him. He misses Gavin.

He wonders if the human is around, waiting for him to wake up again. He’d like that, he thinks. He likes thinking again. He is definitely thankful. He cannot wait to see Gavin again. How long was he out? Who fixed him? He tries to be patient. He just wants to open his eyes and see where he is, run a diagnostic on his hard- and software to check if everything is in place.

After a while in the dark a window pops up on his HUD. It informs him that the systems responsible for his eyes, ears, and voice, as well as motors skills are ready for activation.

_y/n ?  | **y** /n ?_

He smiles and sits up on the operating table, glad that there is nothing restricting his movements. He takes the room in. As he suspected, there is a desk with five large computer screens, all of them still running some programs. They and his yellow LED are the only light in there. That’s when he notices a cable connected to his neck. He checks the connection and pulls it out. He rubs over where it has been, feels his skin slide over his exposed chassis again. He sighs and looks down himself. He is missing his turtleneck, great. Besides that, at least his pants were not ruined by the thirium he lost. The place where, last he checked, there had been a bullet lodged in his body is smooth now, synthetic skin over fresh chassis that covers his insides perfectly. This was done by a professional. Elijah Kamski, maybe, could that be? It makes sense, but the man would not just do it without a damn good reason. Gavin could have something to do with it, being his half-brother and all. Still … no, Gavin refused to talk about his family, he had recoiled from Nines when he mentioned it, hoping to be let in and trusted. Only a month later, the detective talked to him, quieter than usual but trying to play it off.

Nines has to figure out where he is. Now that he is fully operational again, he connects to this place’s Wi-Fi, he figures out the password rather slowly compared to the usual, but at least he is in. He is a bit surprised that he is, in fact, in Kamski’s mansion. There is a single RT600 in the network as well as various computers and mobile devices. He thinks she noticed him already. Even with this information, he still feels lost. He stands up, maybe they put some clothes out for him. While he looks for them, he recalls Kamski from Connor’s memory. Nines does not like his smile, it’s just as arrogant as the one Gavin likes to put on. But it’s less fake and more twisted. He wonders what Kamski wanted in exchange for the repairs. He finds a black t-shirt laying neatly folded on one of the desks, just waiting for him. It fits perfectly, clings to his body. It does its job and covers where he was shot, but he feels exposed with his neck on display like that. He opts to ignore it and to change later. No one has come looking for him yet and he decides that it cannot hurt to take a closer look at all the computers around him and what they were, are, and will be doing. Programmed curiosity that he is not even ashamed of. He doesn’t even get a chance to find anything out. Before he can attempt an interface with the computer closest to him, the one door to the room opens.

“Hasn’t anyone taught you to not snoop in other people’s belongings?” is what Elijah Kamski greets him with. Behind him is the RT600. She switches the light on, and Nines needs 0,755 seconds to adjust his eyes to it.

 _‘Hello, my name is Chloe’_ , she says over a wireless connection and smiles at him.

He dumbly says hello back, knowing too little about his hosts as to guess their dynamic and what this might mean.

“I apologize”, he tells Kamski who just looks like he does not even begin to believe him.

“But then again, I forgot who your role-model is.”

“Role-models,” Nines corrects the provocation, “the Lieutenant and Connor have helped me a lot with figuring things out.”

_‘Just ignore him’._

Nines tilts his head at her.

_‘He’s just looking for a reaction to prove some of his assumptions’._

“I wasn’t talking about them,” Kamski admits as he enters the room.

Nines trusts Chloe more than he trusts Kamski and does not answer. The man does not seem to care. He checks the computers and smiles proudly, like he tries not to seem too haughty but just cannot help himself.

“Fixing you up again wasn’t easy you know?” he says and inspects Nines, looking him over. Nines’ cool down protocol starts running at 5% because of the uncomfortable sensation.

“I even had to pull that bullet out myself, had to call in some old favors with cyberlife to get a hold of the replacement parts. They fit perfectly, don’t they?”

Just waiting for a reaction, like Chloe told him. Nines only nods.

“You should be thankful,” he says. Nines found out very early after deviating that he does not appreciate being told what to do or what to feel. Chloe still stands in the doorframe and seems bored.

“What did Gavin have to do so that you would fix me?” he demands and keeps his voice void of emotion.

Kamski laughs at him. The question made him uncomfortable, hit close to home.

“I’m not some kind of comic villain,” he points out.

“Well, you monologue like one, so excuse me for assuming.”

Now it is Chloe who laughs loudly, a pretty sound that makes both Nines and Kamski look at her. She blushes a little, but the blue tint is quickly gone again.

“Don’t hold him up any longer, Elijah,” she tells her boss (?) and he sighs defeatedly. He steps out of Nines’ way, gesturing for him to leave.

“Thank you,” he says to the two of them, and Chloe smiles as he walks past her.

He turns once more and faces Kamski. He does not seem that scary anymore, just deflated and a bit tired. He looks like he wants to say something, needs to get something out. So Nines waits for the man to find his words. Or maybe it is a bit of courage he is looking for, who knows.

“Tell my brother I said hi, will you? And that he should call me,” Kamski asks him. Though the request is odd, Nines nods, it is the least he can do.

“Try not to get shot again,” he adds before Nines moves on.

“I’m sure you’ll find your way out.”

He does so by scanning the building around him He takes the fastest way to the front door. Connor must have noticed that he is back with the living (which is still just a bit weird) because Nines got 15 new messages arriving all at once. He ignores them. He thinks of the last thing that happened before his shutdown, though. Lips, pretty lips, a red scar, coarse human beard stubble. Maybe Gavin is waiting for him outside. He knows that hope is a tricky thing because it can drive expectation and reality apart from each other. He hopes Gavin is outside to pick him up. Surely Kamski told him that Nines was reactivated. He walks faster. He is through the front door now.

A smile forms on his face; a face that was not designed to do so. Especially not at the sight of a seemingly random police detective leaning against his car, having a smoke. Nines does so anyway as he walks up to Gavin, who still has his back turned, lost in thought, probably. He turns around and stares and Nines stops and stares back. Then Gavin drops the cigarette to the ground, opens his arms and Nines walks into them. They have not hugged before, he knows so because he has fantasized about it, imagined the warm body that is now pressed against his like this. This feels amazing, he does not want to let go, so he does not. Gavin hides his face against Nines’ neck and sniffles. Nines holds him a bit tighter and Gavin does the same for him. Yet it is over too soon when Gavin lets go. Gavin opens his mouth then closes it again, looking for words. He just watches him and waits, he has got time now. He steps on the still burning cigarette and puts it out in the meantime.

“So… uhm, welcome back, I guess?” Gavin says and scratches his neck.

“Thank you?” Nines answers him.

Gavin puts his hands on Nines’ upper arms, skin on skin.

“’Lijah didn’t do anything weird, right?”

Nines says nothing for a moment, soaks up the warmth from Gavin’s hands, enjoys the sensation. Gavin’s hands tighten.

“Nines? Did the fucker break you?”

Nines smiles down at the detective.

“No, I am okay, all of my systems are running perfectly,” he informs Gavin. They both look at his stomach, look at where the bullet hit him.

“There is not even a scratch.”

He can see the relief flooding into Gavin’s body, and he feels it in his own wires, too.

So they get into the car and Gavin drives and tells Nines about what happened. About Connor and the lieutenant, about the unexpected help from Chloe and Kamski, about how bored he was at work. Nines smiles and lets him talk, knows that probably not everything he said is 100 percent true. This is familiar, comforting, something he knows.

From the moment he was shot, until now, he was scared. Scared of not existing, nothingness, scared of missing out. Scared of being alone with this struggle after he woke up - Kamski was not exactly welcoming.

But here, next to this human who is obnoxious, loud, angry, arrogant, yet at the same time kind to children, kisses his cats’ heads, and learned to be more decent to those around him, Nines feels welcome and warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a kudo if you liked it, they are a motivation


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hullo! I hope yˋall enjoy the final chapter!!  
> as always betaed by Tony big thanks and big uwu for the support!

Gavin is antsy when they get to his place, fumbles with the keys. Nines says nothing. Their drive was pleasant, and he is eager to see the cats again, to feel their soft fur under his fingers. He still has to read all the messages Connor sent him, but that can wait. Right now he focuses on the human in front of him. Inside, Gavin takes off his own jacket, hangs it up, and Nines smiles because it shows that he cares. He can hear a faint meow from the kitchen and his excitement grows. Gavin turns to him and grins and Nines’ pump stutters.

“They missed you,” he tells Nines, whose smile widens.

“All of them?”

He hears the  _ tap tap tap _ from soft small feet on the floor and then Susie appears at his legs, snuggling up to him. She meows at him and he picks her up.

Gavin chuckles and steps closer, prompting another stutter from Nines’ pump. Gavin scratches the Maine Coon’s fluffy head.

“This one especially.”

Nines can feel the heat radiating from Gavin’s body and goosebumps form on his synthetic skin. He wonders who programmed that. The human’s bpm is displayed on Nines’ HUD. Nines stares at Gavin, remembering that silly article he read. Gavin meets his eyes and his heart beats faster. Nines’ own pump speeds up. His eyes drop to look at Gavin’s lips. A bit chapped, maybe, but he wants to feel them on his skin again. Gavin's eyes drift down as well. Fuck.

Susie meows again and wiggles in his arms, clearly having had enough of being held. Gavin sighs loudly and turns, while Nines puts the cat down.

 

They end up on Gavin’s couch, each with a cool drink. Susie decides to crawl back into Nines’ lap once he has settled down, and Dave joins them too, curled up against Gavin.

“Mind if I just check the messages Connor sent me?” he asks Gavin, since he did not have the time before and Connor has sent him even more. He is probably wondering why Nines is not replying to him.

“Shit! Yes, feel free!” Gavin tells him. “Why haven't you done that yet?”

“Just wanted to focus on you,” Nines says honestly and Gavin blushes. Nines grins, it’s a good look on the detective.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me...”

He goes on to read all of Connor’s messages. Since the chat box does not take up all of his HUD, he is still a bit distracted by the sight of Gavin and the cats.

It is mostly just messages about what is going on around the station, what everyone has been up to, that they have missed Nines. A few pictures here and there, mostly of Sumo, also of the weather outside. There are some of Gavin as well, Nines has to admit that the detective looks good. Leaning back in his office chair, feet resting on his desk, Gavin looks rather attractive. And that all the while he is procrastinating work. The text that stands out to him, though, is ‘Gavin misses you’. It hurts his metaphorical heart, but also warms it. He closes the chat again after replying to Connor that he is alright and staying with Gavin and, also, that he is thankful for keeping him up to date. It makes him feel less like he missed a lot, which is a relief.

He turns to Gavin who is playing around on some social media app Nines does not care for, while gently petting Dave, who, in turn, purrs loudly. Nines records a 10-second audio clip and saves it. When Gavin starts to feel Nines eyes on him he turns to look at him.

“What did he say?” he asks, sounding sort of tired. The couch is rather comfortable so no wonder that he would get sleepy after being under so much stress the last couple of days.

“Oh, not much, just some pictures of his dog and what went down at the station,” he answers truthfully, he will not mention the picture, but he cannot resist teasing, “he said that you missed me.”

Gavin blushes again and the sight makes Nines grin in delight, the detective's eyes are wide open now, while he tries to come up with a good reply; and Nines just adores it. If his absence did any good at all, it is that he is now realizing how good it feels to be missed and to be welcomed back dearly.

“I did not!” Gavin exclaims and Nines laughs. Gavin blushes more and looks away. Nines watches him like that and smiles.

“Did you really miss me?” he asks; somehow, he needs to hear it.

“ Of fucking course I did, you idiot,” he grumbles, looking down at his lap, his hands buried in the cat ˋ s fur. He looks nervous and Nines own wires feel like they are twisting inside of him.

“For what it is worth, I missed you too,” he says quietly, if only to calm Gavin down a bit, his bpm is still rather high. “You know, just after I woke up in the lab.” His voice fades out and Gavin is staring at him, thirium is rushing to his cheeks, tinting them a light blue in reaction.

“I didn’t know androids could blush.” Gavin sounds quite fascinated and keeps staring.

“Well, apparently I can, given the right circumstances,” he answers, still very quietly, the wires twisting at twisting around each other. Gavin smiles at him and takes his hand. Nines looks at him alarmed. He cannot help but analyze the feel of it against his artificial skin, all the ridges in them, small scars, the warmth of it. Gavin’s smile it the reason he is not freaking out about all of this; if he is smiling, everything must be alright. And then his hand is on Dave’s smooth fur with Gavin’s hand still on top of his. The wires loosen up a bit.

“This helps me a little when I’m feeling stressed,” he explains and shrugs. Dave starts purring again and Nines lets himself enjoy the moment. The cat is so comfortable on Gavin’s lap, close to someone he likes and the setting sun filtering through the window, warming his body even more.  _ Must be nice _ , Nines thinks, but then again, he is not all that far from being in the same situation. He imagines slow cozy afternoons on days off, just lying around all day, cuddling with the cats and with each other, his head on Gavin’s chest and listening to his heartbeat instead of reading it on his HUD. That is what he yearns for. If that last memory he has from before he shut down is any indication … Gavin might want the same thing. There is that hope again. It makes him want to act on his feelings, to spill them all, to get answers to all the questions floating around in his mind some nights.

“You kissed my head.” His voice is quiet but steady.

Gavin’s breath comes out in a shudder, but he does not take away his hand from atop of Nines’. Nines tells himself not to pressure, notes the tension already between them in the air. So he waits, and every second feels too long.

“Didn’t think you noticed that.”

Nines tries to catch Gavin’s eyes in vain and sighs.

“Why did you do it?” he decides to ask. Gavin holds his hand a little tighter.

Gavin laughs quietly to himself and Nines still waits. He waits and turns his hand around to grip Gavin’s, palm to palm.

“I did it because I like you, asshole.” He sounds exhausted, unsure.

Nines takes him in once again. His hunched posture, his scruff, his messy hair, eyes with bags under them. He looks at their joined hands and smiles. He squeezes Gavin’s hand to let him now that it is alright.

“Well, lucky for you, I like you too,” he tells him.

When Gavin raises his head, mouth open in disbelief, Nines grins.

“Y-you like … me?” Gavin stumbles over his words and is blushing again.

He shuffles closer to Nines on the couch and the cats take it as a cue to get up and leave. Their thighs are touching, and their hands still joined.

“Yes,” Nines tells him softly and dares to brush over Gavin’s stubbly cheek with the back of his hand. He likes the texture of it, even though it tickles.

“Why … Why would you like me?” Gavin asks loudly in disbelief, “like, I’m an asshole with?? What? What do I have to give?”

Nines sighs, he knew that he would likely have to explain it. But he has practice with that, having had to explain his crush to Connor over and over.

“You do not have to give me anything,” he starts off, “I like you because you are yourself, because you are an asshole sometimes, yet still kind. Because you look out for others when it counts. Because you are stubborn and brave. Because you are funny.”

Gavin opens his mouth and Nines can tell that he wants to protest, so he just carries on.

“And yes, you have issues, everybody does, I do too. That is okay. You try your best with what you have and I see you are trying to be a better person.”

Gavin looks like he does not know how to deal with that information, opening his mouth and clothing it again; his hand is a bit sweaty, too, from the nerves. So Nines detangles the hand and pulls Gavin into a hug.

“That is why I like you, asshole,” he whispers with their heads so close, and he smiles when Gavin snorts. They stay like that for a while, just existing; and Nines, for his part, enjoys every second of it and does not stop smiling.

“So, what do we do now?” Gavin asks at last and sounds more relaxed.

The flat is drenched in the warm orange of the slowly setting sun and aside from the city noises drifting up, there is the sound of paws walking around.

“Cook dinner, I suppose, feed the cats, and after, we watch a movie and cuddle. How does that sound?”

Gavin looks up at him and smiles beautifully.

“Great.”

And they do exactly that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you enjoyed this leave kudos and comment :) thanks!


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